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LIFE IN KOREAPosted by Anna 🇩🇪 Germany · 1 month ago
Was it lonely? going alone and slightly terrified
moving on my own, no friends there, and i've never lived abroad before. my family thinks i'm crazy.
did it get better after a few weeks or were there stretches where you really regretted it. being honest here
did it get better after a few weeks or were there stretches where you really regretted it. being honest here
11 comments
OFFICIAL ANSWER
MinjiALLO TEAM
Korea local tips · Seoul
Honest answer: yes, sometimes, and it follows a fairly predictable shape that almost nobody warns you about.
Weeks 1 to 3 are usually fine — everything is new, you are busy with paperwork, and adrenaline carries you.
Weeks 4 to 8 are where it gets hard for most people. The novelty wears off, you still cannot have a real conversation in Korean, the admin is done so there is no distraction, and back home everyone has carried on without you. This is when people message their families at 2am. If it happens to you, it is not a sign you made a mistake — it is the normal middle of the curve.
Month 3 onward is usually the turn. Language starts working, classmates become actual friends, and the city stops being a place you are visiting.
What genuinely helps, from students who have been through it:
1. Your classmates are the main thing. You see the same 12 people every morning for ten weeks, all slightly out of their depth. That is a stronger foundation for friendship than most people get as an adult.
2. Something with a fixed weekly time that is not class. A gym, a climbing gym, a church, a language exchange, a hobby group. Anything that puts the same faces in front of you repeatedly.
3. Not living completely alone in the first semester. A share house or a dormitory is a meaningfully different experience from a studio where you close the door at 6pm.
4. Saying yes for the first month even when you do not feel like it. The invitations thin out if you decline the first few.
And the thing worth saying plainly: a lot of people in your class are exactly as nervous as you and hiding it just as well. The ones who look settled in week two mostly are not.
Our team in Seoul checks in with students in the first weeks for exactly this reason. The paperwork is the easy part of moving countries.
Weeks 1 to 3 are usually fine — everything is new, you are busy with paperwork, and adrenaline carries you.
Weeks 4 to 8 are where it gets hard for most people. The novelty wears off, you still cannot have a real conversation in Korean, the admin is done so there is no distraction, and back home everyone has carried on without you. This is when people message their families at 2am. If it happens to you, it is not a sign you made a mistake — it is the normal middle of the curve.
Month 3 onward is usually the turn. Language starts working, classmates become actual friends, and the city stops being a place you are visiting.
What genuinely helps, from students who have been through it:
1. Your classmates are the main thing. You see the same 12 people every morning for ten weeks, all slightly out of their depth. That is a stronger foundation for friendship than most people get as an adult.
2. Something with a fixed weekly time that is not class. A gym, a climbing gym, a church, a language exchange, a hobby group. Anything that puts the same faces in front of you repeatedly.
3. Not living completely alone in the first semester. A share house or a dormitory is a meaningfully different experience from a studio where you close the door at 6pm.
4. Saying yes for the first month even when you do not feel like it. The invitations thin out if you decline the first few.
And the thing worth saying plainly: a lot of people in your class are exactly as nervous as you and hiding it just as well. The ones who look settled in week two mostly are not.
Our team in Seoul checks in with students in the first weeks for exactly this reason. The paperwork is the easy part of moving countries.
Was this helpful?Updated 1 month ago
11 comments
Sign in to join the conversation.
You can still post anonymously after signing in.week 6 i cried in a convenience store because i couldn't explain what i wanted. week 20 i was helping a new student do the same thing. it does pass. it genuinely does.
34
this made me tear up a bit, thank you for being honest
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the convenience store breakdown is a universal experience apparently. mine was a pharmacy
9
mine was trying to buy a bin bag. the correct bin bag. iykyk
7
the month 2 dip is real and nobody mentions it before you go. i thought something was wrong with me. it was just month 2.
19
should be in the orientation pack honestly
8
join something in week 1, not week 6. i waited until i felt "ready" and that was a mistake, everyone had already formed groups
15
korean here — please talk to the korean students who hang around the language institute. a lot of us want to practise english/french/whatever and are too shy to start
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this is genuinely a two way problem and nobody moves first
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don't live alone your first semester. that's my one piece of advice. i did and i'd undo it
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your classmates go through the exact same thing at the exact same time. that shared misery is the friendship, weirdly
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